Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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