so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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