he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
