i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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