So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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