I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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