Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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