The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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