I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
True college students do jello shots in the library
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