no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
