Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
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just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
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We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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