dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
