idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
