if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
