Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
