If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
