I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
