I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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