woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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