Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
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So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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