Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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