my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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