matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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