dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
