no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
