we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
