i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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