Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize