Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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