Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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