Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
