SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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