Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
