i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
