I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
