I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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