why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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