marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
