Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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