Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
