so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
