i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
