so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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