paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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