Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
