some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
