I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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