Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
