I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
