i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
