I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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