I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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