I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My ass is underappreciated
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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