Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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