Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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