I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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