one might say we're banned from that church
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
