i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
