i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
