wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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